Care can be a difficult conversation to have with parents or grandparents. We all want to feel independent and bringing up to your parents that they may need extra help can be a sensitive conversation to have.
Reasons to have a conversation about care
There are likely to be many reasons that it’s necessary for you to have a conversation about care with your parents or grandparents. It may be that they have brought up that they may need additional help around the home, but it’s more likely that you or other family members have recognised problems. Read our article about identifying when care may be necessary here.
It can be a difficult subject for you to approach, you may be worried about how your parent may react but it’s necessary to bring up care options if you think they are in need of help. Care options are flexible and diverse, and so it’s important to engage your parent the whole way through the process to ensure that the resulting care is right for them.
Preparing to have the care conversation
You can take steps in preparation of your conversation to help the discussion to go positively. There are lots of considerations before you bring up the subject with your relative;
When should it take place?
Choose a time when they’re not likely to be too tired and unreceptive to conversation. Ensure that enough time is set aside so that it won’t be a quick dismissive conversation without sufficient time for a proper dialogue. You should prepare ahead of time so that you can think through exactly what you want to get across.
Where should it take place?
Make sure the conversation is held in a space that is quiet and unlikely to result in interruptions or distractions. The conversation could lead your relative to become upset or distressed so the best place is likely to be in their home, where they’re most comfortable.
Who should be there?
It can sometimes be beneficial to have family or friends present but be careful not to appear as though you’re ganging up on them. If there’s a particular person who the person is very close to, who they are likely to listen to, see if they can come along with you.
Starting the conversation
Once you’ve kicked off the conversation, hopefully things with flow and you’ll be able to have an open and honest dialogue about care options. This can be the most nerve-racking part but here are some example openers to get you started;
“I want to make sure you’re finding everything okay at home. If you’re struggling we can talk about options to get extra help”
“I care about you and I want what is best for you, do you think you would like some extra help around the home?”
“I’ve noticed you’ve had some difficulty with XXX. There may be some options we can work out together to get some extra help.”
Keep it positive
Ensure you mention all of the benefits of your family member receiving support at home. There’s plenty to be positive about when it comes to helping your loved one to remain happy and independent at home.
“You’ll keep your independence!”
“It’s an extra pair of hands to help around the house”
“They’re able to check in and be there incase of emergencies
“You’re friends have carers and they enjoy it”
Arranging a care assessment
Once you’ve introduced the subject of care to your parents and discussed options, you should arrange a care assessment for care professionals to assess the needs of your parents and create a personalised plan. If you’re considering care at home for your parent or grandparent, you can contact one of our care advisors and book a no-obligation consultation.